Archives for March 2019

A Note from Josh – College & Center Newsletters, March 2019

I just read a book about sex. Nadia Bolz-Weber, a Lutheran minister out of Denver wrote the book, Shameless: A Sexual Reformation. In the book she addresses a spectrum of topics from purity and sex ethics, all the way to abortion. The book did not evoke mild emotion.

Nadia summarizes the book with these words, “Here’s what this book is. It is a DNA test of our own harm, picking our arms, drawing blood, and showing us where we came from so that we know how to step toward something new. It offers layers of stories and voices and perspectives and history and poetry and scripture. Like a human body, it has curves.”

Sex is complicated for people. For youth, young adults, and even older adults. It is helpful to have someone take on the audacious task of talking about the different topics openly, because to be honest, the church isn’t the first place people think of to talk about sex. I don’t think Nadia was right about everything she said, but here are a couple points I thought were worth sharing.

The World Health Organization’s definition of sexual health puts forth two defining characteristics for a sexual ethic, consent and mutuality. But Nadia doesn’t stop with only these two characteristics. She goes on to say, “A Christian sexual ethic must offer more than this.” She pushes for not just an ethic that rests upon the absence of bad behavior, but for sexual flourishing. Nadia suggests bringing concern to consent and mutuality, saying, “A sexual ethic that includes concern means seeing someone as a whole person and not just a willing body.”

Nadia goes on to name that in the church’s pursuit of holiness, we settled for purity. She says, “But no matter how much we strive for purity in our minds, bodies, spirits, or ideologies, purity is not the same as holiness. It’s just easier to define what is pure than what is holy, so we pretend they are interchangeable.” She expounds by saying purity is also easier to regulate than holiness. She names the honorable pursuit of desiring to be holy, but acknowledges somewhere in the process the church has stopped short. She says, “the desire to live a holy life that is pleasing to God is understandable, but this desire is also fraught with pitfalls.” She names a necessary distinction, “holiness is about union with, and purity is about separation from.”

Before I came to First Pres Nashville, I had only worked with youth – kids in either middle school or high school. It is pretty easy to tell them to simply not have sex. Some of them didn’t listen, but some did. When I started working with young adults, people from ages 10-30, the conversation got a little more complicated. I remember talking with one young adult when they asked, “Am I supposed to just keep doing what they told me in youth group? I’m in my mid-thirties! It just seems juvenile.” Another young adult brought the conversation up, but without ever really addressing sex. They said, “We didn’t really want to compromise our values, but we really couldn’t afford to live in two separate apartments, so we moved in together.” The conversation is as much about finances and human development as it is about sex.

A friend asked me, “Is this a conversation the church is capable of having?” I’m not sure the answer to that question, but I want to answer yes.

The conversation is complicated and can be awkward, but I don’t want people to believe the church has nothing to offer in contributing to humanity’s sexual flourishing. I can’t promise answers, but I will always have the necessary conversation. Because ultimately, it would seem odd that God created such a wonderful thing, only for us to completely avoid the topic. Amen? Amen.

A Note from Jessie – Covenant Newsletter, March 2019

“Breathe and Be Your Best”

This was the motto my family created before embarking on our first trip to Disney World last week. In addition to the planning and packing that such a venture mandates, we prepared for this milestone vacation with setting our expectations. We hoped there would be a plethora of spectacular moments, but we were realistic enough to  expect challenging moments, as well, when we would need to take deep breaths and recenter.

Crowds? Breathe. Long lines? Breathe and Be. Children not eating their $10 hotdogs? Breathe and Be Your Best.

But do you know what was truly amazing? Our motto . . . worked?! In the midst of the crowds and lines and sugar crashes, we held each other accountable to lean into our pledge, together.

It is funny looking back because Steele and I came up with that motto mainly with our 5 year old and 7 year old in mind, thinking they would be the ones who needed the most coaching after fatigue and overstimulation swept through their little bodies. And honestly, there were times when we certainly needed to remind them to use a kinder tone of voice or be more patient or please for the love stop swinging on the rope divider while waiting for Space Mountain. But the commitment to breathing and being our best encouraged us as parents far more than we anticipated. It is astounding how quickly we point out the misbehavior in others (especially in our little ones) when really we are the ones in most dire need of attitude adjustments.

So there we were. For four days, Steele and I committed to breathing in all of the magic that swirled around in our star-struck children’s eyes, and we followed through with breathing out all of our selfish motivations, petty annoyances, and stubborn desires for control. And miraculously, in the absence of our own egocentrism, unbridled joy rose right to the surface. Gratitude blossomed in our hearts. Our minds opened to wonder, our bodies felt free to dance in the present moment with the street performers and our carefree children.

A week later, we are still riding on a high from our special time together, and I already know that I will be peeking back into that treasure trove of precious memories for years to come. And it makes me ponder what it would be like if I held myself to this high standard of patience in my everyday life. What if I did not reserve my most gracious self for special events but continued doling out grace in bucket-loads to those around me? What if I took a breath of prayer before reacting out of annoyance? What if I looked first to my own plank before trying to remove another’s, and in that way led by a more humble example? Perhaps I would be on step closer to the approach the apostle outlines in 1 Peter 5:2-3:

Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

An image of my children happily dancing alongside Peter Pan’s Lost Boys in the midday Disney parade comes back to my mind now. “We’re following the leader, the leader, the leader” they all sang together.

It begs the question . . . for the flock God has gifted us in this life, what kind of leaders do we want to breathe and be?

© 2024 First Presbyterian Church | 4815 Franklin Pike, Nashville, TN 37220 | (615) 383-1815
Website By Worship Times